No Squealing, remember that its all in your head!

Well its been a pretty eventfull couple of days over here on the eastern block. Again I've met some pretty cool folks although my milage hasn't been up to much. Burnt out pretty bad today after 120kms so I'm resting up near Rivne in western Ukraine. Rivne is about 2 days from Lviv. Lviv is 2 days from the Slovakian border when I'll be back in the euro-zone so I'm looking pretty good. Gotta meet my boys the first week of July in Amsterdam which I'm pretty stoked about. The invasion plan is outlined in some detail in this post (WARNING, IF YOU'RE AN AGING RELITIVE OR EASILY OFFENDED DON'T READ THIS BLOG), it is bloody hilarious.

So I was In Kiev last time I updated this, to be honest I didn't do Kiev justice, I only saw a couple of sights. My first day in Kiev I went into a local bike shop and bought a few things, gave the guys this blog address and they offered to do some work on my bike.....for free, yep there are still good people out there.

The guy on the right is the Ukranian downhill champion, knows a guy who I used to work with's sister (UK womans downhill), damn its a small world! So yeah these guys helped me out no end, got a free service and some chain oil so they deserve a plug on here. So if you ever want work done on your bike in Kiev then use these guys. Stay cool brothers and e-mail me when you get to Fort William!

So after this I decided to have a little mooch around the city and see some of the sights.

The memorial at Babi Yar, where 300,00 jews were shot by the nazis (and their Ukranian henchmen). Their bodies were dumped in a ravine. Its a pretty atmospheric place but theres not much to see apart from the memorial.

 St Michael's in the centre of Kiev, again the original cathedral was destoryed by the Soviets in 1930 but it was re-built and re-opened in 1999 after Ukraine became independant.

After a quick look around St. Michael's I went for a mooch outside in the square, and thats when this happened:

They're not doves, they're pidgeons, adds insult to injury! Yeah thats St. Michael's in the background, in the foreground you can see an idiot tourist being taken for a ride by the local jippos, although the idiot tourist is sporting a rather cool pair of ex-American army kegs which he picked up at a local market for pennies ;) mosquito proof aswell ;).

So I'm gonna tell this story even though its kinda embarrassing. I like to think I'm pretty streetwise kid but once in a while I slip up. I got my photo taken by this guy who put a pidgeon on my head, after he'd taken the photo another guy comes up and put a another pidgeon on me and took another photo, then a girl came up and put another pidgeon on me and took another photo, you get the idea.

Anyway I asked the guy how much for the photo, 230 Ukranian, now at this point my head was still thinking in Russian roubles so I thought 'Hey 4 quid, a bit pricy but I guess the guys gotta make a living' So I gave him the money. About two seconds after I gave him the money I realised I'd dropped a bollock, my lunch had only been 100 Ukranian, and it was a damn big lunch!

After this guy the next guy comes up and demands 230 Ukranian for his bird being in the picture, then the girl comes up and asks for 230 Ukranian for her bird being in the picture. I told them to 'F**k off', at which point the head honcho decided it would be a good idea to grab my arm.

I like to think I'm a pretty relaxed guy but after two months sweating blood on my bike I cracked, got up the the guys face and told him I was going to beat the crap out of him if he didn't leave me alone. Suddenly his understanding of the English language increased dramatically and the chubby trickster let go of my arm and backed off. I jumped back on my bike a little red faced and rode off, when I looked behind me he was talking to a policeman so it was a damn speedy dash back to the hostel to ditch the bike and change my clothes before heading out again...Sure as hell got the adrenaline pumping!

Ok so 230 Ukranian is £18.50, not a bank breaking amount. If anyone wants to buy a print of a picture of me with a pidgeon on my head get in touch, the price is £2.50, if I sell 8 I'll be in the black......haha

Spent the rest of the day monging out in Mcdonalds, it was insanely hot and Kiev has loads of hills, thats my excuse and thats why I didn't see as much of Kiev as I wanted too...

So I left the next day with a place called Zhytomyr in my sights, about 130kms from Kiev, no problem. Nothing interesting just motorway miles. Got a cheap motel and crashed out.

Yesterday I left the motel early thinking I'd have a good day, ended up lost in Zhytomyr with two punctures and a split tyre sidwall. Brilliant. On the plus side I met this dude.

Ruslan? I hope thats right? If its not e-mail me mate and I'll correct it!
And his Mrs, Helen.

 

Spent a good hour drinking Carling in the sun. Ruslan gave me his cap and two condoms so to protect me from the sun and sexually transmitted diseases, the two top killers in Ukraine. Cheers brother! I left Zhytomyr all kitted up and span to Novohrad-Volynskyi where I got a room for the night in a motel for £6.50, yep £6.50. Not even worth setting up the tent for that kinda money.

Its so cheap to travel in Ukraine, this is one of the reasons I'm gonna say its the best country I've travelled in so far. Plus EU citizens don't need a visa and the people are great, really kind and helpful (unless they've got a pidgeon, in which case steer well fecking clear). Russia has been knocked into second place (sorry guys) cause some places are expensive and the visa is pricey however the people are just as friendly!

To give you an idea of just how cheap stuff is in Ukraine:

Average room in Hotel for 1 night: £10

20 Marlboro Red: £1

1 Pint bottle of beer: 65p

What the hell are you waiting for? Get yourself on the next flight!

Anyway today I've done Novohrad Volynskyi to the other side of Rivne. Met a few members of 'club GS' in a motorway service station.

 Of course we all know real men don't need engines eh boys ;)

I've also grown quite attched to that bandana, bought it in Kiev on a whim but it actually keeps my head at just the right temprature, not too hot, not too cold. Plus its been scientifically proven that a bandana increases your cool points by at least 20%.

So yeah, like I said I burnt out today. The weather over here is scorching. Too be honest I hope it cools down a bit, cause after Lviv I've got some mountains to play with and I sure as hell don't want to be spinning up them in this heat.

Maybe I just need to man up, even the lorries have been winding me up today...

Catch ya on the flipside...

"Adversity has a way of introducing a man to himself"-Shia LaBeouf