Some Grow up, as Some Grow Old...

But what about the kid, who never learnt the rules..

OK, I've got a lot to write about. Got to Kiev, the capital of Ukraine, about 2pm yesterday and I'll be leaving tomorrow morning heading for the border with Slovakia so I've only got today to update this, pick up some supplies and see the city. No rest for the wicked...

I left Bryansk the next day feeling a little groggy, the miles were putting up a good fight and I had a few thoughts that involved finding the nearest train station and getting the hell out but I stuck it out and eventually I landed at Sevsk, 30kms from the Russia Ukraine border. A pretty boring day.

 The road goes on and on and on...

The highlight of the day was cycling through a wood that was absolutly infested with butterflies.

 The next day I got up early and span the 30kms to the border. Left Russia no problem, the border guards didn't even bother to look at my registration documents. They gave my passport and visa a quick glance and then spent the next twenty minuites asking me aboout the trip. Classic questions :"how far?", "Where do you sleep?" followed by gasps and nods of approval. The situation was the same on the Ukrainian side with the head guard coming out, shaking my hand and saying "God bless you".

When people ask my why I do this I often have trouble answering. To be fair its stupid; leaving the comfort of your home, all your friends and family for a few months of physical torture and discomfort. Well, these past few days in Ukraine may help you to understand...

About 20kms into Ukraine I got a puncture, as I was repairing it by the side of the road this local geezer rolled up.

 Got chatting to him in very broken Russian, the guy was so happy that an Englishman was cycling in his country, it was quite heart warming. Within ten minuites of meeting me he'd invited me back to his house to stay the night and drink some vodka. Unfortunatly I needed to get a few more kms under my belt before I stopped so I declined his kind offer. I did, however, have a drink from his 'water' bottle. As soon as I unscrewed the lid I could tell it wasn't water, some Shane McGowen-esque mix of hard liquor, still took a swig though. For the glory of Great Britain ;).

A few kms down the road my shoddy puncture repair gave out, the tube was ripped so I decided to stick a new tube in. Somehow while I was doing this I managed to get in a water fight with a few local girls ;). Ukranian ladies, very easy on the eye. Eventually I managed to get the puncture fixed and get back on the road. I think I managed about another 15 miles before the next encounter.

I was sitting outside a shop enjoying one of the simple pleasures in life, crusty bread and camembert when this motley crew crossed the road to come and chat to me. As you can see a few of the group were a bit worse for wear.

Yeah, no prizes for guessing whats in the cup. The guy on my left was hammered, in this picture I'm actually holding him up. While I was there he must have fell over about a dozen times. Fairplay to the lad though he was still drinking and smoking like a trooper. The only guy who spoke any English was the guy taking the picture. He kept pointing at his drunk mates and saying 'people are good..'.

Anyway after a good hour toasting international relations between Ukraine and Great Britain I left the group and headed off up the road to find a motel. Every time I leave the road and try and pitch my tent I get eaten alive by mosquitos, its not even funny, so I've been staying in Motels along the E101. They're pretty cheap so its not a problem.

I can't remember where I stayed that night, I think it was somewhere near Baturyn. I didn't get to the motel until 10pm and by that time the vodka was catching up with me so I hit the sack pretty quick.

The next day I woke up pretty early with a mild hangover. The good weather had deserted me and the rain was coming down by the bucketload. Still what you gonna do, ring your mommy and cry down the phone? So I chucked my waterproof on and hit the road.

After about 25 miles I saw two guys on a horse and cart, they were waving at me and shouting, so I waved back and carried on. About 1km down the road I stopped and they caught up with me. 

More friendly people! Got the map out and showed them my route, had a bit of a chat over a smoke and a cheeky 11am vodka.

The party never stops in Ukraine! I'll be surprised if I don't come back from this trip with some liver damage.

That night I made it to a place called Kipti, its on the junction where the M02 meets the M01 before the road heads south to Kiev. By this point I was off the map, reasoning that there must be a motel at the point where two main roads meet, right? Wrong.
I pushed my bike around the village for about half an hour before I decided to ask one of the locals if they knew anywhere I could camp. I'd heard of Ukranian hospitality but what followed was unbelievable.

I asked this guy if he knew anywhere I could camp. Within 5 minuites I was in his house with a cup of tea and some hot food, within 10 minuites he'd made a phone call to one of his friends and found me a place to pitch my tent, in a local wood. His wife even filled all the water bottles on my bike and gave me a blanket because she was worried I'd be cold! Now flip the situation and imagine a Ukranian cyclist in the UK... like I said we could learn a lot.

Spooky!

I left early the next morning, Kipti to Kiev is around 100kms. I took this picture at Kipti looking back down the road. Going by the signs its 900kms from Moscow to Kiev.

So yesterday after about 6 hours pedaling...

I love it when a plan comes together....

So I'll be spending today in Kiev, I'm stopping at a Hostel in the centre. I've got a lot of admin to do but If I've got time I'll post an update on here tonight when I've seen a few of the sights. Feel free to drop me a comment or e-mail and I'll respond tonight.

“Advertising has us chasing cars and clothes. Working jobs we hate, so we can buy shit we dont need.” - Chuck Palahniuk, Fight Club

I Was a Young Boy Who Had Big Plans...

Now I'm just another shitty old man...

I'm currently in Bryansk, look south-west of Moscow along the M3.  To be honest its been a pretty rough few days since I left Moscow. Long distances, not much to break up the day, shedloads of rain and to top it all off in my attempt to get 'down with the locals' I got food poisining off a dried fish I bought off an old guy by the side of the road. Hilarious.

 Here is a picture of me in the pouring rain, trying very hard not to be violently sick. Just so you guys at home know its not all giggles and rainbows.

On the plus side I've met a few pretty cool people, the first was a Russian guy who actually pulled over on the motorway to check that I was ok and gave me a bottle of ice cold water. This was just outside Moscow where the motorway still resembled a main road you'd find in the UK, 3 lanes and a nice big hard shoulder to cycle on. By the time your about 40kms outside of Moscow the 'motorway' is the size of the A41 but with more traffic.

 Did I mention it was raining?

At about 10 o'clock on tuesday morning I rolled into a truck stop just outside Obninsk to get some food,  I was well surprised when the girl behind the counter spoke fluent English to me, she even came and sat with me while I was eating. She was from Kazakhstan (former Soviet republic) and had come to Russia to work to support her kids, apparently the situation in Kazakh is pretty dire.

 Think I'll let Tony the Tiger tackle this one...

Later I saw a moose munching on some leaves by the side of the road, god damn easy life; just eating leaves and shitting in the woods all day. Bet that moose couldn't cycle 80 miles a day in the rain.

Stopped that night near the village of Sukhinichi, managed to get a room in a cheap motel.

Woke up yesterday to more torrential rain, decided to soldier on. Think its just one of those weeks where its dead hard to get going. This road also has markers every KM to let you know how far you are from Moscow, its a pain in the ass cause it makes it harder to 'switch off' and just spin the milage. Anyway I did 130kms yesterday to Bryansk. Quite a lot of war history around here which is very interesting.

 The battele of Bryansk was a 19 day conflict beginning in September 1941. The German troops of XXXXV11 Armeekorps crossed the Densa river in the region south-west of Moscow. During the attack German troops broke through the Bryansk front on the 30th of September 1941 and were able to capture the town of Karachev. They were then able to advance to the east of Bryansk on the 6th of October, trying to meet up with XXXX111 corps coming from the opposite direction.

The Red Army was forced to withdraw the 50th and 13th armies to avoid being encircled by the Germans. Bryansk was then evacuated without significant fighting although the city did suffer heavy air and artillery bombardment. As part of the Orel-Bryansk defensive operation which ran from the 30th Sept 1941 to 23rd Oct 1941 the Red army lost 80,000 men killed in and around the city and a further 50,000 taken prisoner.

Now for the interesting bit...

A young man called Mikhail Kalashnikov was a tank commander in the Battle of Brynansk. During the battle his T-34 was disabled and he was wounded. He walked to the nearest field hospital to recieve medical treatment. While he was recovering he started experiencing flashbacks of the fighting prompting him to become "obsessed with designing a sub-machine gun that would drive the Germans from his homeland".

Hence the 'Automatic Kalashnikov - 47' was born...

 Lenin square in Bryansk, 

"There was an old Marxist called Lenin,
Who did two or three million men in.
That's a lot to have done in,
But where he did one in,
A Marxist called Stalin did ten in."

Why are there still statues in this country of a man who is known to have started one of the most brutal regimes in history? Seriously I don't understand it, maybe from a historical perspective but the guy was at least partly responsible for 70 years of misery under the communist regime.

Serious question, if any Russian readers (I know I've got quite a few) want to answer please leave me a comment or e-mail 'ralph.butler13@hotmail.com'. 

Got chatting to a local man aswell yesterday, turned out he had worked in London and Portsmouth as a doctor, small world.

Also found this little gem in Bryansk.

Had a quick look on the net and can't find any history on it . Awesome building though.

 My next blog will be from Kiev, I'm going to spend a day in the city. Had a look at the map last night. I'm committed to be in Holland in 5 weeks to meet up with a few friends who are going there on hoilday. Should be pretty cool ;). 

So the return trip is looking like Slovakia, Austria, Switzerland, France with maybe a dip into Czech and Romania (really want to go to Romania cause it was the only country to violently overthrow its communist goverment, apparently Romanians dont piss about ;)).

So watch out Tamsin and Fabrice, might get a knock on the door in a few weeks haha.

 I'm pretty sad to be leaving Russia, and a return trip is definatly on the cards. Made a lot of new friends and had some fantastic experiences. I'll leave you with a quote from an e-mail I got from one of my friends, Eugene from Saint Petersburg.

"I noticed that you understood the main thing, despite bureaucracy, oligarchy, bad laws and such stuff the most valueable treasure of my country is not oil and gas, but people, always ready to help you and offer their friendship."

Too right.

Edit, a few pictures of me leaving St. Petersburg. Thank you Eugene.

http://vk.com/album200317091_173420141

The road to Kiev...

Time keeps moving on and on and on...

Just a quick update, got wifi here so I might aswell use it.
I like to think I'm a man of extremes, but this is ridiculous...

 

About 40kms outside Moscow I came across this sign. Yup, thats right 774kms to Kiev, roughly 480 miles. 480 miles on the same road. Yawn. At least I won't get lost...

Moscow...

Napoleon tried and failed, Hitler tried and failed. These guys got it all wrong. You don't need the big armys and flashy uniforms. Just a push bike and balls the size of watermelons ;).

 

A truly broken man!

St. Basils cathedral on the red square, built from 1555-61 on orders from Ivan the Terrible, it commemorates the capture of Kazan and Astrakhan.

Got up at 9am this morning to pack all my stuff away and head for the city centre. I spent a good hour last night drawing out a map of the route and even booked a hostel online. By 2pm I was in the centre with all my kit in my room, magic! I'd only really got today to spend in the centre so I hit the town to take a few pictures...

 A statue on one of the bridges on the way into the city.

 Cathedral of Christ the Saviour, this thing was leveled by the Soviets in 1931 for the twenty tons of gold in the domes. They planned to replace it with a monument to socialism called the 'Palace of the Soviets' but a lack of money, flooding from the river and the outbreak of war got in the way. The foundation hole remained until it was eventually turned into an open air swimming pool! In 1990 the Soviet goverment gave the orthodox church permission to re-build the cathedral. It was completed and consecrated in 2000.

 Tomb of the unknown soldier, got a bollocking at this one for pushing my bike up the steps. I came back an hour later and they were doing a changing of the guards thing, pretty cool.

Its a war memorial thats dedicated to Soviet soldiers killed in world war two. Some pretty cool history behind this one. Originally the remains of unknown soldiers killed in the battle of Moscow were buried at the 41st km of Leningrad highway at the city of Zelenograd because this was the closest nazi troops got to Moscow during the war. To comemmorate the 25th anniversary in 1966 the remains were moved to the Kremlin wall. 

Its a bronze sculpture of a laurel branch and a soldiers helemt laid on a banner. The eternal flame illuminates the inscription "Имя твоё неизвестно, подвиг твой бессмертен"

Which translates as "Your name is unknown, your deed is immortal"

 On the red square, terrible picture thanks to the scaffolding and tents. Contrary to popular belief its not known as the red square because of the red bricks, or because of the link between the color red and communism. красная can mean either 'beautiful' or 'red' in Russian. The name was originally given to St. Basils Cathedral (in the first pic.) with the meaning beautiful, and subsequently transferred to the square.

Statue of Peter the Great, built to commemorate 300 years of the Russian navy. Voted the 10th ugliest building in the world in 2008! In 2010 Moscow offered to re-locate the statue to St. Petersburg, St. Petersburg refused!

 Fountains in Alexander Gardens.

 

Met Joseph Stalin on my way back to the hostel. Interesting fact: Stalin was born in Georgia, its said he'd turn in his grave if he knew that his homeland was now outside of Russia.

You really can't do a place like this justice with a half-a-day mooch, in all honestly you probably need a week or two at least to see all that Moscow has to offer. I really wanted to see one of the Metro stations and also a park in the south of the city where people go and dance after work on weekdays! Unfortunatly I just havn't got the time :(.

A link to a few photos from Novgorod:

http://vk.com/album-41867723_174316660

Video of the group in Novgorod:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0NqUbeRW2Oo 

Thanks Kate, replying to your e-mail now, sorry its took so long!

Dad and Sam Scrott check your inboxs later. 

Next stop, Kiev! 

"How many darkest moments and traps, still lay ahead of us..."

Soon We'll all be Gone...

But sitting on the verge of tears does not become my twenty-two years!

Hilarious.

Not updated this for a few days, so I thought I'd better knuckle down and get on top of it. At the moment I'm about 40kms from the centre of Moscow, the furthest east I will go (on this trip ;)).

The day after I left климова heading for осташков. The roads were a sandy, rutted mess for the first 20kms. Virtually impossible to ride at speed especially with panniers. Eventually I hit tarmac at a place called свапуша. Now I had a decision to make. On the 'designated route' I was trying to complete it showed a 40km detour, 20km there, 20km back, to the source of the river Volga and a monastry. Somebody had described the road as ridable, and it was ridable, if you were riding in maybe a four wheel drive vehicle or a tank.    

So 20kms of extremely loose dirt roads and two hours later;

I think the face says it all, just the thought of that road sends shivers down my spine. The Volga river is the longest river in Europe. Its very important in Russian culture and is often called Volga-Matushka (Mother Volga).
This is me at the source, c'mon chump crack a smile!

 By this point I'd realised it was going to be a long day.
I turned the bike around and headed back down the same road, I think I'd rather forget the journey back to tarmac. This picture gives you an idea of the road surface.

 Just loose, dry sand.
Half way down the road on the return trip I met a police car sliding sideways down the track! He'd taken a corner a bit too quick!
 When I got back to the main road it was still 50kms to осташков, and it was raining.

Trying to put on a brave face.
It was 8pm by the time I arrived. I decided to have a few beers at the hotel that night, naturally a few turned into six and a sore head in the morning.

I woke up in the morning feeling rough as sin. I think an 80 mile bike ride to торжок was the last thing I wanted to do but like a good boy I soldiered on, stopping halfway for a mammoth portion of chips and four sausage rolls.

I had to kick this little shit to get him to stop chasing me. For some reason dogs around here are obsessed with bicycles, probably because they don't see them very often. торжок was a pretty cool place, an ancient town where there was a big battle between the Mongols and the Russians many years ago.

Some cool old buildings and architecture. I went to a little cafe and had a bowel of Borsch (traditional Russian soup) and a potato meat cake thing for tea, very nice. After that it was time for bed. I don't think I've ever been so relieved to get to bed to be honest.

The next day I'd decided I was going to ride along the main road to тверь to get my bike fixed. I'd heard horror stories about the main road, how it was extremely dangerous for cyclists, tonnes of traffic, etc. etc. Personally I found it OK.

Only 209! As you can see the weather was appalling. 

Hahaha! I got to тверь at about 1'o'clock, found the bike shop thanks to a friendly local. The guy had the cassette changed, rear brake fixed and rear wheel re-trued within the hour. Can't grumble at that. I spent ages looking for a place to stay in тверь, everywhere was either too expensive, or fully booked. Eventually I found somewhere to stay, the only problem was the lady at reception said I didn't have enough paperwork with my passport! Apparently I needed to have it registered every night (Bullshit!).

Thankfully there was a guy in reception who spoke English, so he acted as a translator and helped sort it all out. The guys name was Nicolay and after the little incident at reception he asked me if I would like a tour of the town. Top man!

The banks of the river Volga in тверь. One is named after a writer and one is named after a soldier. There are statues of the men on either side of the river. After a bit of a history lesson we sat down for some food.

Ahh a pack of camels, bought in тверь for the pricey sum of £1.20. Cheers for the food pal and I hope you have many good adventures on your bike and take alot of fantastic photos!

Back at the hotel I hit the sack pretty sharpish, slept like a log again but up for half seven the next morning for what would be an 'interesting' day. The target was Kohakobo and it honestly didn't look too far on the map. 'Reckon I'll be there by 2pm' I thought, wishful thinking. I accidently met the group at this river crossing. When the going gets tough...

For the glory of Great Britain!

“If you're going through hell, keep going.” - Winston Churchill

It rained and rained and rained that day, I was soaked to the bone. Not a nice experience, when I got to the hotel I met with the group again. Someone asked me if I had ever tried Russian vodka, I said no. To be honest it would be plain rude to go to Russia and not try vodka...

 Look at that poor innocent boy, unaware of whats to come. Now I had maybe four shots of vodka and two shots of some Ukranian drink and I was a sniff of liquor away from spending the night rolling about in my own vomit, lethal stuff.

 Haha, look at the eyes! Again I slept incredibly well that night!

Yesterday was a long one, I rode from Kohakobo to the outskirts of Moscow, where I am now. The dirt roads had become mud roads after a night of heavy rain, not great for riding a fully loaded bike on slick tyres.

The worst thing about Russia? Mosquitos. I'd read about them back home but I never thought that it would be as bad as it is. Any patch of skin thats not covered by clothing or sprayed with repellent is fair game for them. When I came out of the river crossing in the video I took my sweater off cause It was soaking and within seconds there were half a dozen Mosquitos on my shoulder, it gets pretty annoying. Thankfully you are safe when you're riding, they don't seem to like moving targets...

This was yesterdays mad stunt. Crossing a bridge that looked like something out of Indiana Jones.

So last night I rode into Moscow. More torrential rain, thunder and lightning. Quite fun actually! Saw a few stray dogs playing by the side of the road. 

Unfortunatly I won't see the group again. I'm staying here today and tonight while the group rides into the centre for 'official business'. Feel a bit gutted to be leaving this lot, although we didn't ride together I met them quite a few times on the road and bumped into them at a few of the hotels. For the first few days I was 'Ralph the English spy' but by the end of the trip I was 'Ivan', just gotta wait for my Russian passport to come through!

There's a real sense of 'lifes to short' with these guys, as there is with most of the Russians I've met, and I like it. I think this comes from experiencing real hardship first hand and I think we Brits could learn a thing or two about our attitude towards others from this lot.

Anyway I'll be staying here today sorting kit out, washing clothes and generally chilling out so feel free to drop us an e-mail and I'll write back. Its cheaper than texting.

So long...

“It’s very difficult to follow our dreams, but it’s even more difficult to forget them.”

 

Sitting in a Russian Bath House...

Punk rock changed our lives....

Warning, this blog contains pictures of a hilarious nature. 

I'm still with the velopiter crew, despite what the Russian press says ;). Rode by myself yesterday a few kms behind the group. Went from Старая Русса to Демянск, pretty good roads, smashing weather, bit of Sublime on the MP3 player. Life dosn't get much better...

 Stopped to check out this fountain in Старая Русса, apparently the waters have healing powers.

Got a cheap hotel in Демянск with the group and crashed out. The highlight of the night was when I accidently left my phone outside the hotel. When I went back to look for it two Russian lads had picked it up. My mate Gaz had rung me and one of the lads had answered it, Gaz thought I'd been kidnapped by the Russians! Anyway nice speaking too you mate and its good to know I've got a job to go back to ;).

Life is to short so love the one you got,
Cause you might get run over or you might get shot...

I was allowed to cycle with the group today cause there was no official business. Pretty happy that I managed to keep the pace despite the fact I've got all my bags, slick tyres and my bikes developed the most annoying fault ever. The rear cassette is so worn it slips in the top three gears, meaning that if you select one of the top three gears the chain dosn't grip and sends your soft fleshy thigh on a collision course with the hard plastic gear shifter. It hurts... alot.

A small rural church built by the local community, loads of log buildings where I am now.

Let's go! The whole group (minus the gaffer, whos taking the picture) The roads were terrible today, so bad they were good! Thankfully there were quite a few hills, I'm a very strong climber, otherwise I may have fallen behind. There's only two of us in the group without front suspension. Me and an old guy who's nickname is 'old school'. Havn't spoken to him much cause my Russian is crap but he has the craic with the rest of the group.

We are staying in two log cabins tonight in a place called Клймова (I think). When we got there a few of the lads decided we should go to the баня or Banya. Like a Sauna but with more water. 
I want one.

Not wanting to let team Britain down I decided I could stay in the banya for as long as the Russian lads. Not sure how long I was in there but the thermometer on the wall hit 100 and the Russian lads were still having the banter, like being slowly cooked was a mere inconvienience.

After this they told me we should go and jump in the ice cold lake, not wanting to look like a pussy I agreed. I slipped on the jetty and fell into the lake, much to the delight of my Russian friends.

I've actually got a video of me falling into the lake, but it won't let me upload it on here. I'll try again later in the week.

After this I went back to the banya for the traditional whipping of the limbs with birchbark branches to improve circulation...

Awesome tan lines from a few months wearing cycling shorts.

Heres papa smurf in all his glory...

What, again?!?

Felt quite chilled out afterwards though, sat in a little room next to the banya with a cup of green tea just relaxing and learning a few new Russian words from the guys. I went into the village earlier and actually managed to ask one of the locals where the shop was which I'm pretty chuffed about considering that a week ago I couldn't speak a word of Russian.

Supper was smoked fish caught from the lake.

Very tasty, a lot of bones though!

And to top off a fantastic day when we got back from the banya we discovered that someone had applied a liberal coating of lard to old school's bike seat as a prank. Hilarious.

Edit: Whoops, apparently not a prank! Some kind of leather softner!

Me in the Russian news (thanks Sergey and Katya):

http://www.ntv.ru/novosti/593000

Don't wait up...