Viva la revolution!

Life ain't about waiting for the storm to pass.....Its about learning to dance in the rain.

I'm in Lviv, western Ukraine. In my attempt to do at least one Ukranian city justice I've spent the day looking around the town. It took me a day and a half to get to Lviv. The main roads were all re-surfaced last year when Ukraine and Poland hosted the football so the going was pretty smooth.

The day that I left Rivne was a bit of a drag. Eastern Europe havn't quite got the hang of road signs yet and at Rivne the signs were showing 270kms to Lviv, looking at the map it was more like 200 but its toss up wether you trust Ukranian maps or Ukranian road signs more. Usually the maps are more accurate.

I took this picture a bit later in the day, there was no way I'd cycled 100kms from Rivne. At one point in Russia as I was getting closer to a town the kms on the signs were going up!

It was a pretty uneventful day, until about 5pm. I'd just cycled through a town called Brody and was making a beeline for a place called Olesko when I met this father son team.

 They were doing a bit of sightseeing, visiting some of the old castles and historical sights that are dotted about the area. As we were talking a man and a woman came out of a house a few doors down, man was I surprised when the woman spoke near perfect English to me! She invited me into the house, sat me down and basically told me that I was going to stay for supper, have a shower and tell them all about my trip. Awesome.

The conversation flowed pretty well with the woman, a friend of the mans wife, acting as a translator. He was a retired Soviet air force and Ukranian air force helicopter pilot. He had served 15 years in the Soviet military and 15 years in the Ukranian military after the country became independant. When the USSR split up he was offered Russian citizenship and a comfortable office job by the Kremlin which he turned it down because he 'wanted to help his own country (Ukraine) get back on its feet'. A true Ukranian patriot.

We talked quite a lot about Ukranian politics and in particular corruption and the problems with the current regime. When I left he gave me a flag with the democratic party of Ukraine symbol on it, a pretty cool present, however it fell off the back of my bike somewhere on the road into Lviv. Gutted. Anyway managed to pick up a flyer from the town centre with the same symbol on it so thats going on the bedroom wall when I get home ;).

I stopped in Olesko that night with the signs still showing over 100kms to Lviv. After a good nights sleep I jumped back on the bike and headed off down the road. About 20 minuites later I saw a sign, 60kms to Lviv. Crazy. So a couple of hours later:

Look at that dirty, sweaty unshaven tramp. If he put as much effort into his career as he puts into cycling to obscure places he could have a nice car, a 2 bed semi in the suburbs, a wife and an exciting job selling insurance. Well guys its the dream! hahahahah

Found a hostel easy enough thanks to the free wifi at a petrol station.I didn't do much last night, just monged about. I went to a local takeaway and got some food, two burgers and two large portions of chips for fatty! Opened up the burgers and immediatly realised I'd been done. One word. Salad. The actual burger was about as thick as a piece of paper and they had filled the rest of the bun with green, leafy healthy shit. Errrgh.

Thought the chips would be better...

I didn't cycle to Moscow on bloody salad! Unfortunatly there was no way around it, I had to eat my way through the disgusting healthy rubbish to get to the greasy chippy goodness underneath.

So today I hit the tourist trail in Lviv, its a great town, tonnes of old buildings and stuff to look at. First port of call was Rynok square.

Rynok is the central square in Lviv, it was planned in the second half of the 14th century. A bit of a building site this week as there is some sort of festival going on, but still a pretty beautiful place.

After Rynok I made a beeline for High castle, the highest point in Lviv which promised great views of the city. En route I went through an outdoor market. Behind all of the traders selling I <3 Lviv T-shirts and cuddly toys there were a few bric-a-brac stands. I like these kind of places cause there are always a few hidden treasures. After a bit of a rummage I found a few interesting items which I think make better souviners that a crappy hat or a fridge magnet.

Top left, its a nazi match box holder, not sure if its real or not, the jurys out, but I can't find another one like it on the internet. Top right is an interesting one, pulled it out of a box of junk and paid six quid for it. After a little research on here it turns out its a 'Medal for Labour Valour' it was awarded to:

Labourers who heroically dedicated themselves towards the building of a socialist society or have demonstrated a complete understanding of machinery/equipment to provide a high level of efficiency or for significant contributions in culture/science/manufacturing.

There were over 1.8 million of these medals awarded.

The two bank notes were four quid each, the one on the left is 20 reichsmark, no prizes for guessing what country thats from, and the one on the right is 50 karbowanez from 1942. Its Ukranian money from when the country was occupied by the nazis. Both the notes have the nazi eagle and swastika stamped on them (you can see in the picture).I walked away less than 20 quid lighter with all this history, amasing.

It took me about half an hour to walk to High Castle and climb the hill.

Yeah, I didn't realise there was dirt on the lens until I uploaded it, damn. Still you get the idea. Its the highest point in Lviv at 413m above sea level (its a man-made hill). There really isn't much of the castle left, in the 19th centruy it was made into a park and a Union of Lublin mound was constructed to mark the 300th anniversary of the union. (you can do your own research on the union of Lublin!)

 Met these two massive hawks on the way down!

OK so next port of call was Lychakiv Cemetary, this one looked good on the internet but to be honest it was a bit of a let down. Got there and realised you had to pay to get in, which seemed fairly odd. Anyway I paid (about 80p) then watched about ten people just walk through the gates so I think they're relying a bit too much on peoples good will...

Yep, basically a big creepy cemetery with loads of dead guys and girls. I've met cyclists who've told me that they camp in cemeterys cause they're always quiet at night and the locals don't go near them cause they're scared of evil spirits. Rather you than me my friend.

Hell, this brother makes me look like Brad Pitt!
A lot of the headstones have the dead persons face carved into them.  

This guy must've been a physicist of something. Many of the headstones are crosses but a good percentage are wierd shapes like this. I thought there would be more crosses to be honest cause Ukraine is a pretty religious country.

I left the cemetery after about half an hour and went back into the town, had a crafty beer at one of the local bars. Top tip, try and actually learn some Russian/Ukranian before you come here, people think you're a bit of a nob if you don't speak the language. They speak Russian and Ukranian here but Russian I feel is the dominant language, maybe with a bit of Ukranian mixed in. (for phrases like thank you, please etc.)

The good life.

I went back into the town centre for a bit, took a few pictures of the buildings.

I think its some sort of church. Loads of nuns in Lviv ;) haha! Also had another scam artist try it on today. I was walking down a residential street in the suburbs looking like a proper tourist, bum bag, map in hand etc. when this scruffy young guy comes up to me and tells me that hes a policeman and that he wants to fine me for some misdermeaner. I almost wet myself laughing and told him to F**k off, I did consider givng him 50p for a photo to put on here but when I got my camera out he disappeared very quickly.

Can't remember what this place is! Cool looking building though.

Busker in Lviv!

After my little circuit I headed back to the hostel, picking up a new spare tyre on the way from a local bike shop, for a general chill out and a bit of route planning. I'm two days from the Slovakian border (maybe one If I cut the corner through Poland) targets then are: Bratislav, Vienna, Prague then across Germany to Amsterdam. T-minus 3 weeks till the meet up ;). Gonna be spinning some mega miles to get there on time but it'll be fun.

Adios.

“Tears will get you sympathy, sweat will get you results.”

 

No Squealing, remember that its all in your head!

Well its been a pretty eventfull couple of days over here on the eastern block. Again I've met some pretty cool folks although my milage hasn't been up to much. Burnt out pretty bad today after 120kms so I'm resting up near Rivne in western Ukraine. Rivne is about 2 days from Lviv. Lviv is 2 days from the Slovakian border when I'll be back in the euro-zone so I'm looking pretty good. Gotta meet my boys the first week of July in Amsterdam which I'm pretty stoked about. The invasion plan is outlined in some detail in this post (WARNING, IF YOU'RE AN AGING RELITIVE OR EASILY OFFENDED DON'T READ THIS BLOG), it is bloody hilarious.

So I was In Kiev last time I updated this, to be honest I didn't do Kiev justice, I only saw a couple of sights. My first day in Kiev I went into a local bike shop and bought a few things, gave the guys this blog address and they offered to do some work on my bike.....for free, yep there are still good people out there.

The guy on the right is the Ukranian downhill champion, knows a guy who I used to work with's sister (UK womans downhill), damn its a small world! So yeah these guys helped me out no end, got a free service and some chain oil so they deserve a plug on here. So if you ever want work done on your bike in Kiev then use these guys. Stay cool brothers and e-mail me when you get to Fort William!

So after this I decided to have a little mooch around the city and see some of the sights.

The memorial at Babi Yar, where 300,00 jews were shot by the nazis (and their Ukranian henchmen). Their bodies were dumped in a ravine. Its a pretty atmospheric place but theres not much to see apart from the memorial.

 St Michael's in the centre of Kiev, again the original cathedral was destoryed by the Soviets in 1930 but it was re-built and re-opened in 1999 after Ukraine became independant.

After a quick look around St. Michael's I went for a mooch outside in the square, and thats when this happened:

They're not doves, they're pidgeons, adds insult to injury! Yeah thats St. Michael's in the background, in the foreground you can see an idiot tourist being taken for a ride by the local jippos, although the idiot tourist is sporting a rather cool pair of ex-American army kegs which he picked up at a local market for pennies ;) mosquito proof aswell ;).

So I'm gonna tell this story even though its kinda embarrassing. I like to think I'm pretty streetwise kid but once in a while I slip up. I got my photo taken by this guy who put a pidgeon on my head, after he'd taken the photo another guy comes up and put a another pidgeon on me and took another photo, then a girl came up and put another pidgeon on me and took another photo, you get the idea.

Anyway I asked the guy how much for the photo, 230 Ukranian, now at this point my head was still thinking in Russian roubles so I thought 'Hey 4 quid, a bit pricy but I guess the guys gotta make a living' So I gave him the money. About two seconds after I gave him the money I realised I'd dropped a bollock, my lunch had only been 100 Ukranian, and it was a damn big lunch!

After this guy the next guy comes up and demands 230 Ukranian for his bird being in the picture, then the girl comes up and asks for 230 Ukranian for her bird being in the picture. I told them to 'F**k off', at which point the head honcho decided it would be a good idea to grab my arm.

I like to think I'm a pretty relaxed guy but after two months sweating blood on my bike I cracked, got up the the guys face and told him I was going to beat the crap out of him if he didn't leave me alone. Suddenly his understanding of the English language increased dramatically and the chubby trickster let go of my arm and backed off. I jumped back on my bike a little red faced and rode off, when I looked behind me he was talking to a policeman so it was a damn speedy dash back to the hostel to ditch the bike and change my clothes before heading out again...Sure as hell got the adrenaline pumping!

Ok so 230 Ukranian is £18.50, not a bank breaking amount. If anyone wants to buy a print of a picture of me with a pidgeon on my head get in touch, the price is £2.50, if I sell 8 I'll be in the black......haha

Spent the rest of the day monging out in Mcdonalds, it was insanely hot and Kiev has loads of hills, thats my excuse and thats why I didn't see as much of Kiev as I wanted too...

So I left the next day with a place called Zhytomyr in my sights, about 130kms from Kiev, no problem. Nothing interesting just motorway miles. Got a cheap motel and crashed out.

Yesterday I left the motel early thinking I'd have a good day, ended up lost in Zhytomyr with two punctures and a split tyre sidwall. Brilliant. On the plus side I met this dude.

Ruslan? I hope thats right? If its not e-mail me mate and I'll correct it!
And his Mrs, Helen.

 

Spent a good hour drinking Carling in the sun. Ruslan gave me his cap and two condoms so to protect me from the sun and sexually transmitted diseases, the two top killers in Ukraine. Cheers brother! I left Zhytomyr all kitted up and span to Novohrad-Volynskyi where I got a room for the night in a motel for £6.50, yep £6.50. Not even worth setting up the tent for that kinda money.

Its so cheap to travel in Ukraine, this is one of the reasons I'm gonna say its the best country I've travelled in so far. Plus EU citizens don't need a visa and the people are great, really kind and helpful (unless they've got a pidgeon, in which case steer well fecking clear). Russia has been knocked into second place (sorry guys) cause some places are expensive and the visa is pricey however the people are just as friendly!

To give you an idea of just how cheap stuff is in Ukraine:

Average room in Hotel for 1 night: £10

20 Marlboro Red: £1

1 Pint bottle of beer: 65p

What the hell are you waiting for? Get yourself on the next flight!

Anyway today I've done Novohrad Volynskyi to the other side of Rivne. Met a few members of 'club GS' in a motorway service station.

 Of course we all know real men don't need engines eh boys ;)

I've also grown quite attched to that bandana, bought it in Kiev on a whim but it actually keeps my head at just the right temprature, not too hot, not too cold. Plus its been scientifically proven that a bandana increases your cool points by at least 20%.

So yeah, like I said I burnt out today. The weather over here is scorching. Too be honest I hope it cools down a bit, cause after Lviv I've got some mountains to play with and I sure as hell don't want to be spinning up them in this heat.

Maybe I just need to man up, even the lorries have been winding me up today...

Catch ya on the flipside...

"Adversity has a way of introducing a man to himself"-Shia LaBeouf

Some Grow up, as Some Grow Old...

But what about the kid, who never learnt the rules..

OK, I've got a lot to write about. Got to Kiev, the capital of Ukraine, about 2pm yesterday and I'll be leaving tomorrow morning heading for the border with Slovakia so I've only got today to update this, pick up some supplies and see the city. No rest for the wicked...

I left Bryansk the next day feeling a little groggy, the miles were putting up a good fight and I had a few thoughts that involved finding the nearest train station and getting the hell out but I stuck it out and eventually I landed at Sevsk, 30kms from the Russia Ukraine border. A pretty boring day.

 The road goes on and on and on...

The highlight of the day was cycling through a wood that was absolutly infested with butterflies.

 The next day I got up early and span the 30kms to the border. Left Russia no problem, the border guards didn't even bother to look at my registration documents. They gave my passport and visa a quick glance and then spent the next twenty minuites asking me aboout the trip. Classic questions :"how far?", "Where do you sleep?" followed by gasps and nods of approval. The situation was the same on the Ukrainian side with the head guard coming out, shaking my hand and saying "God bless you".

When people ask my why I do this I often have trouble answering. To be fair its stupid; leaving the comfort of your home, all your friends and family for a few months of physical torture and discomfort. Well, these past few days in Ukraine may help you to understand...

About 20kms into Ukraine I got a puncture, as I was repairing it by the side of the road this local geezer rolled up.

 Got chatting to him in very broken Russian, the guy was so happy that an Englishman was cycling in his country, it was quite heart warming. Within ten minuites of meeting me he'd invited me back to his house to stay the night and drink some vodka. Unfortunatly I needed to get a few more kms under my belt before I stopped so I declined his kind offer. I did, however, have a drink from his 'water' bottle. As soon as I unscrewed the lid I could tell it wasn't water, some Shane McGowen-esque mix of hard liquor, still took a swig though. For the glory of Great Britain ;).

A few kms down the road my shoddy puncture repair gave out, the tube was ripped so I decided to stick a new tube in. Somehow while I was doing this I managed to get in a water fight with a few local girls ;). Ukranian ladies, very easy on the eye. Eventually I managed to get the puncture fixed and get back on the road. I think I managed about another 15 miles before the next encounter.

I was sitting outside a shop enjoying one of the simple pleasures in life, crusty bread and camembert when this motley crew crossed the road to come and chat to me. As you can see a few of the group were a bit worse for wear.

Yeah, no prizes for guessing whats in the cup. The guy on my left was hammered, in this picture I'm actually holding him up. While I was there he must have fell over about a dozen times. Fairplay to the lad though he was still drinking and smoking like a trooper. The only guy who spoke any English was the guy taking the picture. He kept pointing at his drunk mates and saying 'people are good..'.

Anyway after a good hour toasting international relations between Ukraine and Great Britain I left the group and headed off up the road to find a motel. Every time I leave the road and try and pitch my tent I get eaten alive by mosquitos, its not even funny, so I've been staying in Motels along the E101. They're pretty cheap so its not a problem.

I can't remember where I stayed that night, I think it was somewhere near Baturyn. I didn't get to the motel until 10pm and by that time the vodka was catching up with me so I hit the sack pretty quick.

The next day I woke up pretty early with a mild hangover. The good weather had deserted me and the rain was coming down by the bucketload. Still what you gonna do, ring your mommy and cry down the phone? So I chucked my waterproof on and hit the road.

After about 25 miles I saw two guys on a horse and cart, they were waving at me and shouting, so I waved back and carried on. About 1km down the road I stopped and they caught up with me. 

More friendly people! Got the map out and showed them my route, had a bit of a chat over a smoke and a cheeky 11am vodka.

The party never stops in Ukraine! I'll be surprised if I don't come back from this trip with some liver damage.

That night I made it to a place called Kipti, its on the junction where the M02 meets the M01 before the road heads south to Kiev. By this point I was off the map, reasoning that there must be a motel at the point where two main roads meet, right? Wrong.
I pushed my bike around the village for about half an hour before I decided to ask one of the locals if they knew anywhere I could camp. I'd heard of Ukranian hospitality but what followed was unbelievable.

I asked this guy if he knew anywhere I could camp. Within 5 minuites I was in his house with a cup of tea and some hot food, within 10 minuites he'd made a phone call to one of his friends and found me a place to pitch my tent, in a local wood. His wife even filled all the water bottles on my bike and gave me a blanket because she was worried I'd be cold! Now flip the situation and imagine a Ukranian cyclist in the UK... like I said we could learn a lot.

Spooky!

I left early the next morning, Kipti to Kiev is around 100kms. I took this picture at Kipti looking back down the road. Going by the signs its 900kms from Moscow to Kiev.

So yesterday after about 6 hours pedaling...

I love it when a plan comes together....

So I'll be spending today in Kiev, I'm stopping at a Hostel in the centre. I've got a lot of admin to do but If I've got time I'll post an update on here tonight when I've seen a few of the sights. Feel free to drop me a comment or e-mail and I'll respond tonight.

“Advertising has us chasing cars and clothes. Working jobs we hate, so we can buy shit we dont need.” - Chuck Palahniuk, Fight Club